Getting Personal

My last update on Facebook was in December of 2012. Its been so long since then. I probably never said about why I quit facebooking tho. I just didn't like the user interface design and the way I was using it. Briefly saying, I was not comfortable with the insight that I started using social media to establish and form my identities online. At that moment I felt like it was my tweets, status updates, and pictures are contributing to present myself to the people inside my network. Maybe it was the way it was. And I remember there was a tagline been kicking around says the spirit, "I tweet therefore I am." It was pretty cool at beginning. Until I started doubting this whole phenomenon.

"The things I share on Facebook and Twitter are a reflection of who I am?!"

Is that really who I am? Apparently not. Anything I tweeted, I facebooked or I instagramed were the stuff I wanted to be exposed in my network. It might present a part of me, but definitely not a real me or the way I wanna express myself on the Internet. What's so good of acting like a social person on the Internet while you are not even a people person offline? Posting something for hundreds "Like"s ain't gonna demonstrate anything for me in real life.

Privacy concern is not my reason to complain they are less personal, of course you can use them as SM tool. But that's unlike what I need. I don't need marketing myself online. I was just looking for a comfortable place to chill and say whatever I wanna say. For myself not for my follower or my "friends". I asked myself are those "social" tools really necessary for me? How many people I actully need to contact everyday? And how many of the tweets I tweeted worth of reading?

public-speak

This complain leads me to a simple choice, either stoping using them all or change my way of using them. I kind did both. I quit facebooking, didn't cancel my account tho. Just for keeping some connection and I know Facebook will still store my data anyway even after I deleted my account. But I still have desire to make voice online, so I decided to stick with Twitter with locking my account to protect my tweets. Only allowing my approved followers to view my tweets. Some might say protecting tweets is antisocial. I see it as quite the opposite. By protecting my tweets I am fending off spammers and enhancing the Twitter experience for myself. I care much less how my followers think of my tweets, because they won't be able to retweet my tweets mostly and hopefully. I can post any stupid thing dirty picture I like with no worry about how fool I might look like. Which leads to another fact I prefer Twitter over Facebook. Most of my 'friends' on facebook are my actual friends offline. But most of my 'friends' on Twitter are strangers. Sometimes I found its easier to talk out with 'strangers'.

So why do I write about this now? Something I did almost two years ago. Its just recently I noticed few a sign of how that decision really worked on me. No more checking how many 'Like's I got last night every morning, and no awkward conversation box pops up everytime I login Facebook. And the most noticeable difference is on this personal blog. In the early age of my blog, most stuff I wrote about was some tech tips, gadget review. Basically nothing personal, I guess I didn't even know how to write personally. I started seeing this issue by the time I had this personal blog redesigned. I removed a lot old boring SM-like posts from my achieve page afterwards.

This blog used to rock with Wordpress as most of the web-log. One day all of sudden I started feeling sick with Wordpress, slow speed, heavy backend, all those plugin and database secrity issues. I tried to write on Medium and some other blogging service. But I don't think any of them are quite the same thing as maintaining a personal blog, where I can control all the theme design detail, visual content elements and maintain a custom URL. I eventually ended up on Jekyll. Long story of how I fall in love with it tho, that's not the point of this writing. The point is there is something about personal blogging, mckaywei.com, a place where I can control everything I wrote and get it to look like whatever the hell I wanna it to look like. It's online, but it's not like having a speech in public. I can write about everything and anything that in my mind. This is how web-logging was in the early days. And now this is also the way I blogging today.

I am feeling good about heading back to the personal blogging where I can talk about anything that I actually care about with emotion.